A heart surgeon, a crusty punk, and Judge Posner are on an airplane that's going down. The pilot has already bailed out, and there are only 2 parachutes left. They're discussing who should get the parachutes.
Heart surgeon:
I literally save a life every single day. If I go down, it's not just me, it's uncountable numbers of patients who won't have my expert surgical hands inside their chests when the most desperately need it.
Crusty: I haven't eaten meat or dairy since i was nine years old. I don't waste precious water on bathing. I wouldn't even be on this plane except for an irrelevant backstory that would distract from the joke. The planet needs me.
Judge Posner: I am the greatest living American jurist, and, indeed, the smartest man in the world. I calculate that the social cost of my premature demise outweighs the social benefit of the continued longevity of the two of you put together. This parachute is mine by right. [Bails out.]
Heart surgeon: Sooo...Rock-paper-scissors?
Crusty: Know what, doc? No worries, cuz the smartest man in the world just bailed out with my knapsack.
Tags: cardiology, law, policy, crusty punks, vegan, vegans, vegan+recipes, airplane crashes, Judge Posner, Seventh Circuit.
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