The Pagan Science Monitor

Joke du jour

A heart surgeon, a crusty punk, and Judge Posner are on an airplane that's going down. The pilot has already bailed out, and there are only 2 parachutes left. They're discussing who should get the parachutes.

The new temp is funny and mean, fat and proud

That is a picture of me at work (false). I am a grunt-worker in a well-known Chicago silk-stocking law firm (true). It is called Smudge, Ripoffsky, and Wanker (false).
Today we got a new temp (true). His name is Elliott (false). As soon as i saw him i adored him; i clapped my hands and said to the others, "Oh, he looks jolly!" (True.)
Elliott (not his real name) is not jolly (true). Elliott (not his real name) is cruel, vindictive, proud of his crimes, and unbearably hilarious (true).

In the Pagan Science Reading Room

William Easterly, The White Man's Burden: Why the West's Efforts to Aid the Rest Have Done So Much Ill and So Little Good. New York: Penguin Books, 2006.
New in paperback.
"...[S]ome readers will take away from [this book] the fundamental conclusion — even though [Easterly] doesn't draw it — that foreign aid just doesn't work; and that would be deeply incorrect. The fact is that many of the people you meet in any African village are alive because of foreign aid."
-- Nicholas D. Kristof, reviewing the book last October in The New York Review of Books
There are links to other reviews, and to debates and discussions, on Easterly's NYU website.
T.P.S.M. will have a longer discussion Monday. Top question on the list: Does anybody talk about capitalism and white supremacy anymore?

Tags: politics, law, policy, development, international aid, Bono, debt relief, capitalism, racism.

DJ Tankboy v. DJ Cowbell

"Drop, Rock, and/or Roll" -- a monthly residency at
The Continental
2801 W. Chicago Av.
Will feature DJ Tankboy versus DJ Cowbell (and you thought the headline was a 7th Circuit case)
Sat., 3-24-07, 11 p.m. till 5 a.m.
DJ Tankboy's monthly Drop, Rock, and Roll residency returns to The Continental on March 24, so expect rock, pop, indie, soul, punk, whatsisprocket style music guaranteed to keep the room filled all night long. This month Tankboy is joined by DJ Cowbell, known for her, well, rockin' cowbell-laden sets and rowdy style. Drop, Rock, and/or Roll took a month off, so expect a return to force with the wild times and raucous rooms this night seems to inspire.

T.P.S.M. disclaimer: While Tankboy makes certain "guarnatees" in the email posted above, T.P.S.M. neither endorses nor will be held liable for an guarantee, express or implied. Also, if we go, we ain't staying till 5 in the dang morning. Tags: Chicago, Chicago word, Chicago music, The Chicagoist, Tankboy, DJ Tankboy, DJ Cowbell, The Continental, punk, indie, soul.

Stealth nominee? or nonentity?

Durbin, Obama will vote for Bush nominee to Federal bench in Rockford, IL.
Frederick J. Kapala testified for less than an hour yesterday before the Senate Judiciary Committee on his nomination to the lone seat on the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois, Western Division. He would succeed Judge Philip G. Reinhard, who was elevated to senior status this year (which does not mean a fly new Town Car but does mean less work).
Judge Kapala has nothing in his record that immediately and obviously marks him a reactionary, leaving head scratchers to wonder why the Bush administration nominated him.
The Chicago Daily Law Bulletin (subscription firewall) account of his testimony yesterday portrayed Judge Kapala as pro-puppies, spring, and seatbelts, and anti-sociopathic monsters.
"'The law should treat harshly' violent criminals who take delight in harming others, but show sympathy toward less-hardened offenders who might simply have made a mistake," the Law Bulletin's Steve Lash writes.
File under: Not Making This Up: "Kapala, 56, said he remembers 'what it's like to go to a penny candy store and not having [sic] a penny in my pocket.'"
Warning to big-city snobs who sniff, "How much damage could he do? It's only Rockford!" At least one of the several surprisingly large county jails in north-central and north-western Illinois contracts with the Feds to hold non-citizens -- any litigation arising from alleged abuse will likely end up before this formerly-penniless candy-lover who can mouth a Normal Rockwell bromide or two, but about whom little is known.

Tags: politics, law, policy, judicial nominations, Federal judges, Kapala, Rockford, Seventh Circuit.

Billionaires for Bush / Amnesty Multinational

Letter of protest to the SEC:

The Hon. Christopher Cox
Chairman, Securities and Exchange Commission
450 5th St., N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20549

Your Honor:

I was outraged to hear of the accusations of "insider trading" and "fraud" by your Commission against 13 stalwart Wall Street patriots! These top lawyers and officials in firms like UBS, Morgan Stanley, Bank of American, and Bear Sterns, who we at Amnesty Multinational call the "SEC 13", merely exercised their God-given right to make fortunes as big as possible.

These energetic and enterprising Americans demonstrated pure American entrepreneurship in the spirit of absolutely unfettered capitalism by leverging inside knowledge of stock upgrades for Dow Chemical, National Semiconductor, and Nvidia for $8 million in profit and cash kickbacks.

The Global Capitalists Rights Task Force of Amnesty Multinational has declared the SEC 13 to be profiteers of conscience, who have been targeted solely for investment flexibility and an uncompromising focus on profit.

We demand that you drop all charges at once and free these profiteers of conscience!

Sincerely,

[Your name here]

By far the oddest way anyone has EVER navigated here

AOL search: "Can farting spread Hepatitis C?"

Trial starts on Penn. town's anti-immigrant rules

Lozano v. Hazleton, No. 3:06:v1586, before Judge James M. Munley, U.S. District Court, M. Dist. Pa.
A federal bench trial in Scranton, Pennsylvania, began today that will test a municipality's authority to enact and enforce ordinances aimed at allegedly-illegal immigrants. It is a case of first impression in any jurisdiction, and its outcome will bear on rules in up to 80 localities.
The trial will also focus attention on questions of racism and trends toward a surveillance-snitch society.

On the difference between recognizing a state, and recognizing a state's "right to exist"

Lawrence of Cyberia draws a distinction typically lost in corporate media (COMA) coverage of Israel and Palestine.
The demands, as preconditions for negotiations, that the Hamas government (or the Palestinian Authority or the Palestinians -- they are phrased variously) "recognize Israel" or "recognize Israel's right to exist" are two distinct things.
It's a tight, little 10-paragraph essay that sticks to logic and written history, and will make the AIPAC-types shriek invective.

A call for "Mt. Blackmore"

I was not a stupid kid, but my cognitive style was to yo-yo between the hyper-abstract and the hyper-concrete, so I often made older kids and grownups fall out laughing and stare at me gape-mouthed, because I could seem hilariously naive or literal.
One time, I asked my mom about Mt. Rushmore. I don't remember the exact way I put the question, but my line of thinking was pretty much, "Now, one president's face on a mountain I could see happening in nature, but four?!" My mother was used to me by this time, so she matter-of-factly explained the faces were carved there by people, and, blessedly, no more was ever said about this in our family.
Over at P!, Ddjango has issued the first (as far as I know) call for a "Mt. Blackmore."
Candidates to be immortalized in obsidian stone (which, sadly for this proposal, does not occur in North American volcanic activity)* are, among others:
*Sojourner Truth
*MLK
*Harriet Tubman
*Marcus Garvey
*John Coltrane.
Maybe I'm being too literal about P!'s reference to obsidian. Anyway, do click the link and have a look.

*Update: I was wrong about a lack of indigenous North American obsidian (see this and this and this and this and {sigh} this), but there doesn't seem to be enough of it in a single giant pile to carve big faces in.